this time baby

I'll be

bulletproof

suffocation

overstatement? i think not. like sometimes when i just think about it. my breathing just gets significantly difficult. and this suffocation, yes thats what i’ll call it from now on, because it is making it hard for me to breathe, as ludicrous as that might sound. okay this sounds so overexaggerated but like th feeling that i feel is really just unbearable and like when i just think about it, like my breathing just gets deeper and irregular. like something heavy is getting pressed on my chest

and its stupid because i did this to myself. and its not like im just going to go around looking all emo and sad. no. i cant do that either. but i hate pretending that this is just a “minor” problem when it isnt. and the only person that does know how i really feel is tiffanygu. nobody else will understand.

and one more thing that i touched on my previous post. or the one before that i forgot. i am not a traitor. there will always be one thing that will always be number one in my mind. part of the reason i joined band so i could be closer to you guys. i hate feeling like the bad guy. but what else could i do? at least try to understand where i’m coming from.

okay now for something actually exaggerated : im slowly but surely killing myself? HAHA. now THATS a hyperbole